i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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