What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
