i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
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