it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just forgot I was standing up.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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