My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
