i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
