It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
