remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Farmville is her only friend.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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