gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize