i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
