My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
