And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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