Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
