Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
