forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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