go do what you do best...puke behind churches
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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