pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Randomize
