you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize