Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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