The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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