Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
