i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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