I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
