it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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