is this the sara with the beer cane?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
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I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
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We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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