you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize