thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Maybe he injected his testicle?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
