now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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