Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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