The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
