Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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