I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
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apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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