Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
