And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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