What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize