I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize