great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
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he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
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The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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