and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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