She announced her abortion via fbk
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
