I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Drunk is not a location!
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
