that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
