it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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