Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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