Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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