Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
