my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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