just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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