Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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