You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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