i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
