so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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