I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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