i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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