dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...