do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.