I hate ducks.
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin