I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I am available for nakedness