I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night