..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here