Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
