I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
