mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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